As they left the Chicagoland hospital, Sara and Scott felt both giddy joy and gut-wrenching sadness. They carried home Sam, their newborn baby boy. But, they left without Sam's twin sister, Grace, who died in the hospital a few days prior.

"I almost didn't want to leave the hospital, even though I knew she was not there," remembers Sara. "I couldn't comprehend going home without her."

Grace was born with a heart defect and other abnormalities. At Sara's 27-week ultrasound, the doctor told them about Grace's condition.

"I was devastated. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me," Sara recalls. "I also started feeling guilty that I wasn't happier about Sam. Even though I had one sick baby, I needed to remember that I had one healthy one."

Grace's little body gave out after seven short days of life. She died in Scott's arms, with her parents talking and singing to her. During the haze around Grace's death, Scott discovered some information from The Haven Network, a perinatal hospice in Rockford, Illinois (where Sara and Scott lived) that assists families whose babies have terminal conditions.

"We were numb and in shock," explains Sara.  "We were going through the motions, but we didn't know what we were doing. We received help planning the funeral and choosing a tiny burial gown."

It comforted Sara to know that Grace had a beautiful burial outfit tiny enough to fit her three-pound body. The Haven's family partner assigned to Sara and Scott also bolstered the family in their grief. "She always let us know she was there and thinking of us," says Sara. "Just a simple card on Mother's Day and Father's Day meant so much to us."

The Haven, which received a seed money grant from Wheat Ridge Ministries, has helped more than 70 families anticipating the death of an infant in the womb or soon after birth. Most parents don't know how to prepare when new life arrives with death on its heel.

"From the time they see the picture on the ultrasound (indicating a problem), many families are pressured to terminate the pregnancy. The attitude is that these babies are not perfect, and therefore dispensable. It's a very lonely road," says Jean Heise, president and co-founder of The Haven.  "We, at The Haven, say this baby has been created by the Triune God and deserves loving care."

By offering parents a positive alternative that includes carrying the baby until natural delivery, bonding with the baby, and creating positive memories, parents are able to go through a more natural and healing mourning cycle. The Haven counsels parents on how to connect with the baby, even after he or she dies, by holding and cuddling the child, taking photographs, bathing and dressing the infant, and baptizing the baby. The Haven also helps parents create memory boxes that may contain the hospital stocking cap and ID bracelet, among other mementos.

"Those tangible items become very important. It's the only thing they've got," explains Jean. "We're about helping families create stories to tell about their babies, rather than a secret to hide. We want our families to confidently tell the story about this family member with joy."

The Haven also aids families in practical matters such as funeral planning, sorting through medical bills, and meals during the grieving period.

Jean finds many others are reaching out for the support of The Haven. Grandparents have unique grieving needs. Parents experiencing miscarriages, unexpected stillbirths, and premature babies have questions and need support. More than 25 organizations across the U.S. have sought out The Haven's expertise in hopes of starting a perinatal hospice in their own communities.

Rockford-area pastors also appreciate the unique role The Haven fills in the community. "Pastors often get to be the mouthpieces for God, but The Haven is the feet and hands - the one that shows the words mean something, that they're real," says David Thies, pastor of Rockford's Saint Paul Lutheran Church, who has referred several families to The Haven.

This hope for healing heartbroken families is possible through your gifts to Wheat Ridge Ministries. Thank you for your prayers and support that are touching the lives of grieving parents in the Rockford area and beyond.

For more information on The Haven, please click here to visit their website.

Written by Jennifer Halupnik